There’s a reason for the statement, “On any given Sunday.”  That’s because in the National Football League, you never really know what’s going to happen.  Not with an undefeated team.  Not with a winless team.  Heck, not even with the great Tim Tebow.

In fact, according to the Elias Sports Bureau, only two previous times in NFL history had a team that was at least 10-0 lost and a team that was at least 0-10 won on the same Sunday.  Of course, the third time happened this weekend.  Thank goodness for Drew Brees to keep some things constant in the NFL.

A PRESENT for the Kansas City Chiefs, handing the Green Bay Packers their first loss of the season.  Kyle Orton must have stolen some of Tebow’s miracles when he was cut from the Denver Broncos.  How else to explain Orton outdueling Aaron Rodgers while Tebow failed to complete a comeback against some guy named Tom Brady?
A LUMP OF COAL to the Packers, now a dismal 13-1.  Seriously, I have no use for them anymore.  They no longer have the chance to stand alongside the 2007 New England Spygaters, er, Patriots, as the only teams to finish a 16-game regular season unbeaten.  And they no longer have the chance to push aside the 1972 Miami Champagne Poppers, er, Dolphins, as the team with the longest undefeated season ever.  Now they are just another very good team I have no reason to root for because they aren’t perfect.
A LUMP OF COAL to the Indianapolis Colts, now a dismal 1-13 after beating the Tennessee Titans, 27-13.  Seriously, I have no use for them anymore.  They no longer have the chance to stand alongside the 2008 Detroit Lions as the only teams to finish a regular season without a win.  And Don Orlovsky, who finished up as the quarterback of those Lions, no longer has the chance to finish up a second season for a team without a win.  Now they are just another very bad team I have no reason to root for because they aren’t perfectly imperfect.
A PRESENT for the 2010 Detroit Lions, who rallied with two TDs in the last five minutes to beat the Oakland Raiders, 28-27.  Three years removed from Matt Millen and infamy, the Lions are on the verge of clinching a playoff spot for the first time since 1999.  Yes, Virginia, er, Michigan, there is a Santa Claus!
A PRESENT for the Carolina Panthers, who used a gadget play inspired by a movie to score a TD in their win against the Houston Texans, 28-13.  The Panthers ran a hidden ball trick, known as “the annexation of Puerto Rico,” in the film “Little Giants,” to spring tight end Richie Brockel for a 7-yard TD run that put Carolina ahead 21-0.  It’s a case of life imitating art, if you consider “Little Giants,” to be art!
A PRESENT for the Philadelphia Eagles, who thrashed my J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS, 45-19.  Amazingly enough, if the Eagles beat the Cowboys and the Jets beat the NY Giants this week, then the Eagles beat the Redskins and the Giants beat the Cowboys next week, the Eagles will win the NFC East.  Despite the fact I hate Andy Reid as a coach and I despise Michael Vick as a person, I’m rooting for this scenario to play out!
A PRESENT for Reggie Bush, who ran for a career-best 203 yards as the Miami Dolphins beat the Buffalo Bills, 30-23.  Bush capped his day with a 76-yard TD burst that he finished off with a slide through the wet, snowy end zone.  Of course, a grinch masquerading as an NFL official flagged him for excessive celebration!
A WHOLE SLEIGH FULL OF PRESENTS for Drew Brees, who passed for 412 yards and five TDs as the New Orleans Saints whipped the Minnesota Vikings, 42-20.  The Saints have won six in a row and in the last five, Brees has completed an astounding 73% of his passes (148 - 204) for 1,776 yards, 16 touchdowns and ZERO interceptions.  He has now completed at least 20 passes in 34 consecutive games and has thrown at least one TD in 41 consecutive games.  With just 305 more passing yards in the last two games, he will break Dan Marino’s single-season record of 5,084.  I’m not embarrassed to admit I have a mancrush on Drew Brees!
A PRESENT for all my loyal readers for enjoying my sometimes friendly but more often snarky and bitter view of sports.  Enjoy the holiday season and have a Happy New Year!

THERE IT IS!

-Jake Stevens

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