I was hoping LeBron’s narcissistic episode would be the last embarrassing spectacle for a while.  As usual, it turns out I was wrong.  His might have been the worst, but it clearly wasn’t the last.

1. Act like an owner, not a deranged fan – I get it, Dan Gilbert.  I really do.  But that letter.  Oh that letter.  Thankfully, you put the best part in ALL CAPS, when you declared the Cavs would win a title before the Heat.  At least you remembered to have a sense of humor.  Wait, you weren’t joking?  Um, never mind.
2. Yes, that’s exactly what his comments sounded like – Proving that where there’s one idiot, others will soon follow, Jesse Jackson declared Gilbert’s comments “personify a slave master mentality.”  This is so astoundingly stupid, I can only assume the press printed it because they wanted to make fun of Jackson.  I know that’s why I’m putting it on my list.
3. My 22-month-old son doesn’t roll around and cry as much after getting hurt -  Once again, the World Cup was marred by a parade of players acting as though they had been mortally wounded anytime there was contact during the game Sunday.  My buddy James put it best when he said, “I like the World Cup much more at the start of the tournament than I do at the end.”  Thankfully, we all now have four years to forget what we witnessed.
4. Eight is Enough - No Dick Van Patten fatherly guidance necessary here.  Paul the Octopus, who correctly predicted all seven of Germany’s games in the World Cup and then Spain’s title, is retiring from the prediction business.  As it turns out, he was the least embarrassing part of the tournament.
5. Have feet, can’t travel- Because of his latest legal issues, Michael Vick can’t go out of state and had to miss his own event as well as a football camp.  This doesn’t bode well if he becomes the starter for the Eagles.  Then again, there are probably a bunch of NFL teams who would be better off if their QB couldn’t attend road games. 
6. He was never an embarrassment – I wanted to end on a positive note and ironically enough needed to discuss the hated Yankees to do so.  But it was in his life as their public address announcer that Bob Sheppard made his mark on the sports world.  With a strong, distinuguished voice, Sheppard brought class and elegance to every word he spoke for all in the stadium to hear.  Nicknamed “The Voice of God,” he passed away Sunday, but I have no doubt he’s now speaking in his brilliant voice to the other class act who left us recently at 99, John Wooden.  May they rest in well-earned peace. 

THERE IT IS!

-Jake Stevens

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